So, my 6 year-old daughter asked me about sex (a scientist responds)

Scared FatherM – Daddy, what’s six?

D – Um, a number??

M – No daddy, not that six, the other six….sex?

D – [life flashing before eyes] [deep breath] [resist urge to run]

D – Ok where did you hear that word.

M – Well, some kids were talking about it at school.

D – Who told you?

M – A girl at school.

D – What did she say about it??

M – Well, she said it was gross.

D – [Deep sigh of relief that that is as deep as her understanding goes]

M – So, what is sex?

D – First of all, let me assure that the people who were talking about it as school have NO idea what it actually is. Second, I’m glad you felt comfortable in coming to me with this. Sex at its core, or what it should be is a strong relationship between two people. Like between your mom and I. Beyond that, I don’t know if you have the understanding to get everything, and that’s ok, you are six. How about this, what is the dervitive of x squared times the integral of 42? [at least that’s what I kinda said, I was just spouting random math terms]

M – [wide eyed] I have no idea.

D – That’s because you don’t have the tools to know. You do addition first, then subtraction, then multiplication, then division, then algeb….

M – How do you do division?

D – That’s not really the point, the point is you need the tools to answer or understand advanced concepts and sex is one of those advanced concepts. I have a question for you, where do babies come from.

M – Well, they grow in mommy’s tummy.

D – Then what?

M – They come out.

D – Were do they come out?

M – Your privates.

D – What’s the name for it?

M – A vagina.

[sidebar, she was present at her sister’s birth (I caught her!!) so she was very aware at the age of three what was going on and we told her the truth then, it stuck. Then she sung happy birthday to her sister after coming out, but I digress]

D – Do you tell everyone at school where babies come from?

M – No.

D – Why not?

M – Because it isn’t appropriate.

D – Right because might not be at the level of understanding yet to know what you are talking about. So lets talk about sex again in the future, and when you are ready, I will answer all the questions that I can.

M – Ok, Daddy

D – [Continues doing hair so I can get her off to school]

[Later that night]

M – Mommy, Mommy!! Daddy told me about sex this morning!!

[Scene]

 

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One response to “So, my 6 year-old daughter asked me about sex (a scientist responds)

  1. Absolutely, Excellent! So well done and so funny! A total Dad Moment! You still stayed in the ” OH Lord, my daughter just asked me The Question…. Noooooo” moment. I still remember my father’s face and and my mother saying ‘calm down…you will break out into hives if you don’t calm down. Thanks for sharing this moment with us.

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